ACME
25-03-2015, 08:40 PM
:smile (77):
A policeman on traffic duty
flags down a car. “Sir, you appear to
have 12 penguins in the back of your
vehicle,” he says to the driver
“That’s right, officer, I do.”
“Well that’s ridiculous—take them
to the zoo straight away.”
“OK, officer,” says the man as he
drives off.
The next day, while standing in
the same spot, the policeman sees
the same car drive past—with the
penguins in the back. He flags him
down again
“I thought I told you to take them
to the zoo,” says the policeman.
“Yes, officer, and it was great!
Today I’m taking them to the cinema.”
///
A lion wondering in a jungle
spots a lost dog and thinks he’ll be
easy prey.
When the dog sees the lion he starts
to run, but suddenly he has an idea.
He stops near some bones and says
loudly, “Mmm, that was a tasty lion.”
Stopping in his tracks, the lion
realises that this dog is a hell of a
lot tougher than he thought and
runs off.
Up in a tree, a monkey had seen
the whole thing and decides to
tell the lion what happened. The
monkey hops on the lion’s back
and leads him back to the dog.
As he sees the two heading
towards him, he has another idea,
“You’re late, monkey!” he shouts,
“I told you to bring me another
lion hours ago!”
///
“I’m sorry” and “I apologise”
mean the same thing. Except when
you’re at a funeral.
:smile (101):
A policeman on traffic duty
flags down a car. “Sir, you appear to
have 12 penguins in the back of your
vehicle,” he says to the driver
“That’s right, officer, I do.”
“Well that’s ridiculous—take them
to the zoo straight away.”
“OK, officer,” says the man as he
drives off.
The next day, while standing in
the same spot, the policeman sees
the same car drive past—with the
penguins in the back. He flags him
down again
“I thought I told you to take them
to the zoo,” says the policeman.
“Yes, officer, and it was great!
Today I’m taking them to the cinema.”
///
A lion wondering in a jungle
spots a lost dog and thinks he’ll be
easy prey.
When the dog sees the lion he starts
to run, but suddenly he has an idea.
He stops near some bones and says
loudly, “Mmm, that was a tasty lion.”
Stopping in his tracks, the lion
realises that this dog is a hell of a
lot tougher than he thought and
runs off.
Up in a tree, a monkey had seen
the whole thing and decides to
tell the lion what happened. The
monkey hops on the lion’s back
and leads him back to the dog.
As he sees the two heading
towards him, he has another idea,
“You’re late, monkey!” he shouts,
“I told you to bring me another
lion hours ago!”
///
“I’m sorry” and “I apologise”
mean the same thing. Except when
you’re at a funeral.
:smile (101):