enigma
23-11-2006, 10:12 AM
For years we've heard that it's more important to be respeted than liked.Yet study after study is proving conventional wisdom wrong--- finding instead that the road to success is more often a series of popularity contests
Research at Columbia University shows that jobs,pay raises and promotions are more apt to be awarded based on a worker's charisma than on his or her academic background or professional qualifications
A leading firm in the States found that during corporate downsizing,hiring and firing decisions boil down to how well people are liked by their supervisors. " It's not enough just to do a good job; you have to be likeable in the eyes of your employer, " says the company's president
The good news is likeability is a skill that can be learned. Researchers have unlocked the secrets to having a magnetic personality
When people encounter you, they subconsciously ask themselves four questions that determine your likeability or " Likeability Factors ". First they seek friendliness.Then,they ask themselves if you are relevent to them.Next,they ponder whether you have empathy for them.Finally,they ask themselves if you're "real" that is,authentic and honest.If the answers to those questions are affirmative,you receive a high Likeability Factor
To up your " L - Factor " here are four - step process
Step One: Increase Your Friendliness
Your friendliness is a function of your ability to communicate openness and welcome to others.Make an effort to greet people cheerfully,smile often and adopt a friendly mindset that you communicate through positive body language and words
Step Two: Raise Your Relevance
Your relevance has to do with your connection to others' interests,wants and needs.The more relevant you are,the more people like you.Relevance has three levels: o
Contact. The odds are,likeability will increase with "functional distance," such as sitting next to someone at a party or living nearby
Mutual Interest. Having common interests or experiences makes people feel validated and generates a sense of community and personal respect
Value. Relevance is strongest when the value you offer meets another person's wants and needs.This produce positive attitudes in the person's mind and contribute to your allure
To become more relevant,find ways to connect with the interests and needs of others.Know what they're passionate about outside of work.Be aware of their emotional needs and willing to respond to them
Step Three: Show Empathy
Your empathy reflects your capacity to see things from another person's point of view and to experience his or her feelings yourself.When you connect with someone's feeling and they believe you're "with them" it delivers a psychological hug. Ask yourself do I: o
Know how that person is feeling about his or her life situation these days? o
Understand what it must feel like to perform the person's tasks day after day-- be it caring for an elderly relative at home or managing a heavy workload? o
Share the same emotions about key issues? o
By making yourself more emotionally available,your connection with people ---and your likeability --- will grow dramatically
Step Four: Keep It Real
Realness is consistency between your beliefs and actions.To be true to yourself and others,you need to: o
Do what you want to be doing in life
Live with purpose
Commit to the principles of your work
Be the same person on the outside as you are on the inside
Be direct and honest with others
The more you live by your values,the more your perceived realness will elevate.Conversely,if people decide you're not real,they will discount your frindliness,relevance and empathy-- and probably dislike you
Basically,likeability comes down to creating postive emotional experience in others.When you make others feel good,they tend to gravitate to you
By Kate Lorenz " A Career Builder " o
In short, the writer is trying to say that in order to gain people's love and respect at the same time " BE HUMANE" o
Research at Columbia University shows that jobs,pay raises and promotions are more apt to be awarded based on a worker's charisma than on his or her academic background or professional qualifications
A leading firm in the States found that during corporate downsizing,hiring and firing decisions boil down to how well people are liked by their supervisors. " It's not enough just to do a good job; you have to be likeable in the eyes of your employer, " says the company's president
The good news is likeability is a skill that can be learned. Researchers have unlocked the secrets to having a magnetic personality
When people encounter you, they subconsciously ask themselves four questions that determine your likeability or " Likeability Factors ". First they seek friendliness.Then,they ask themselves if you are relevent to them.Next,they ponder whether you have empathy for them.Finally,they ask themselves if you're "real" that is,authentic and honest.If the answers to those questions are affirmative,you receive a high Likeability Factor
To up your " L - Factor " here are four - step process
Step One: Increase Your Friendliness
Your friendliness is a function of your ability to communicate openness and welcome to others.Make an effort to greet people cheerfully,smile often and adopt a friendly mindset that you communicate through positive body language and words
Step Two: Raise Your Relevance
Your relevance has to do with your connection to others' interests,wants and needs.The more relevant you are,the more people like you.Relevance has three levels: o
Contact. The odds are,likeability will increase with "functional distance," such as sitting next to someone at a party or living nearby
Mutual Interest. Having common interests or experiences makes people feel validated and generates a sense of community and personal respect
Value. Relevance is strongest when the value you offer meets another person's wants and needs.This produce positive attitudes in the person's mind and contribute to your allure
To become more relevant,find ways to connect with the interests and needs of others.Know what they're passionate about outside of work.Be aware of their emotional needs and willing to respond to them
Step Three: Show Empathy
Your empathy reflects your capacity to see things from another person's point of view and to experience his or her feelings yourself.When you connect with someone's feeling and they believe you're "with them" it delivers a psychological hug. Ask yourself do I: o
Know how that person is feeling about his or her life situation these days? o
Understand what it must feel like to perform the person's tasks day after day-- be it caring for an elderly relative at home or managing a heavy workload? o
Share the same emotions about key issues? o
By making yourself more emotionally available,your connection with people ---and your likeability --- will grow dramatically
Step Four: Keep It Real
Realness is consistency between your beliefs and actions.To be true to yourself and others,you need to: o
Do what you want to be doing in life
Live with purpose
Commit to the principles of your work
Be the same person on the outside as you are on the inside
Be direct and honest with others
The more you live by your values,the more your perceived realness will elevate.Conversely,if people decide you're not real,they will discount your frindliness,relevance and empathy-- and probably dislike you
Basically,likeability comes down to creating postive emotional experience in others.When you make others feel good,they tend to gravitate to you
By Kate Lorenz " A Career Builder " o
In short, the writer is trying to say that in order to gain people's love and respect at the same time " BE HUMANE" o