ساعدوني لله يجزاكم بالخير

[lightness]

السلام عليكم ورحمة لله وبركاته

اسعد لله مسائكم بكل خير

وكل عام وانتم بخير

انا طالبة بقسم الحاسب طلب مني موضوع بللغة الانجليزية وان يحمل روح الفكاهة

بحثت بالنت ولكن لم اجد والموضوع مطلوب علينا يوم السبت القادم

واتمنى منكم مساعدتي وكلي أمل باني سأجد لدى الاعضاء التلبية الكريمة

شاكرة لكم

[Dr_subahi]

We do not do home work here, but because of Eid it is an exception

Why is English Crazy ?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.



English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible. However, when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

IN WHISPER DATED 20.3.01
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery!"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips after you use it?

Why is it necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why is what doctors do called "practice"?

Why is it rain drops, but snow falls?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why brotherhood of a man includes woman but sisterhood does not ?

The university stages are: freshman, sophomore, junior and senior . Notice that freshman is used for both new boy or girl in the university.


Taboo : is borrowed from Tongan , it means : acts which are forbidden or which are to be avoided. BUT the language is neither good nor bad but its use may be for good or bad.

Why in our crazy language can your nose run and your feet smell?


Collected by:
Dr_subahi@yahoo.com

[lightness]

لله يسعدك ياااااااارب ويوسع عليك

مشكور اخووي

:36_4_12:

[حمامة]

Dr_subahi



الله يجزاك خير ..