المساعد الشخصي الرقمي

مشاهدة النسخة كاملة : أقرأ للضرووووووووووووورة



mahaaa
28-01-2007, 02:46 PM
السلام عليكم جميعآ
عندي مقال عن working women وابغاكم لو تكرمتوا وتعطفتوا وأشفقتوا على اختكم في الله تقرونه وتطلعون الاخطاء اللي فيه لاني كتبته بالامتحان وبشوف انا ناجحه ولا راسبه :36_16_2:

وهذا الموضوع بين اياديكم الكريمه .......

it's important for women to share in the developing of their countries. This importance is resulting from the positive role that women can play in their societies. Since women form the half of the society , or even more , they should be aware of their duties and perform them in perfect way , otherwise they will be hanger-on

As a saudi society , there are many restraints upon the working of women. This restraints are resulting basically from religion and other social customs . There are some fields that saudi women can work in such as teaching , medical attention and the most important field , the house

there are many advantages of the working of women. First, the working woman is independant , and does not need the help of her parents or husband. Also, having a career offers a sense of freedom and a kind of achievement in life by the working in the field she masters . Moreover, working woman can provide a high standard of living for her family, and contribute in the developing of her society.

There are also many disadvantages of the working of women. The working woman always suffers a lot of stress . She has no time to take care of her house. children and husband, so she often brings a housekeeper, always none Muslim, to take care of her own house. That causes a lot of serious problems in the family and even in the society


The working woman should think about how to avoid much of these problems . She can do that by dividing her time equally between her house and work


ودمتـــــــــــم ،،،،

mashehri
28-01-2007, 07:59 PM
السلام عليكم جميعآ
عندي مقال عن working women وابغاكم لو تكرمتوا وتعطفتوا وأشفقتوا على اختكم في الله تقرونه وتطلعون الاخطاء اللي فيه لاني كتبته بالامتحان وبشوف انا ناجحه ولا راسبه :36_16_2:

وهذا الموضوع بين اياديكم الكريمه .......

it's important for women to share in the developing of their countries. This importance is resulting from the positive role that women can play in their societies. Since women form the half of the society , or even more , they should be aware of their duties and perform them in perfect way , otherwise they will be hanger-on

As a saudi society , there are many restraints upon the working of women. This restraints are resulting basically from religion and other social customs . There are some fields that saudi women can work in such as teaching , medical attention and the most important field , the house

there are many advantages of the working of women. First, the working woman is independant , and does not need the help of her parents or husband. Also, having a career offers a sense of freedom and a kind of achievement in life by the working in the field she masters . Moreover, working woman can provide a high standard of living for her family, and contribute in the developing of her society.

There are also many disadvantages of the working of women. The working woman always suffers a lot of stress . She has no time to take care of her house. children and husband, so she often brings a housekeeper, always none Muslim, to take care of her own house. That causes a lot of serious problems in the family and even in the society


The working woman should think about how to avoid much of these problems . She can do that by dividing her time equally between her house and work


ودمتـــــــــــم ،،،،



Your writing is good enough to get the full mark ( Ma shaalah) but you have some notes that must be taken into consideration and can be easily avioded in the future. Here are some:
1. Capitaliztion
2. Repeating words do effect the stylistic power of the essay.
3. You are writing right now not speaking so be formal.

your mistakes were:
It is
development
There
woman work
no need for the article the
Thats what i have noticed.

GOOD LUCK
AND KEEP ON Practising English writing.

mahaaa
29-01-2007, 01:56 AM
ألـــــــــــــــــف شكـــــــــــــــر:36_4_12:

mashehri
29-01-2007, 11:22 AM
تحت الخدمة


تحياتي لك

الاستاذ سلطان
30-01-2007, 01:28 AM
اولا ما شاء الله لا اله الا الله على هذا الاسلوب الرائع
ثانيا من ناحيتي انا ومن وجهة نظري البسيطه الفقيره التي لا تذكر ان مقالك (شي)
وتعليقي هو الآتي:1 (116):
لو كتبتي بدل there are many advantages of the working of women

there many advantages of working the women
وكمان فيه ملاحظه بسيطه لو تستخدمي الضمائر يكون اقوى من التصريح بالفاعل نفسه
واسأل الله لكي التوفيق والسداد في دينك ودنياك
(رساله الى من يهمه الامر ...:217: )
الله لا يهينك الفل مارك داااااااااااااااااااااااا اااااااااااايركت :neutral:

mahaaa
30-01-2007, 02:29 AM
ألــــــــــــــــف شكر يا أستاذ سلطان :36_4_12:
ثانكس على هذا الدعم المعنوي بس اخاف انصدم بالنتيجة :sad:
وأنشاءالله استفيد من ملاحظاتكم النيرة واتخطاها في المستقبل

ودمتــــــــم,,,,

هايديء
31-03-2012, 08:29 PM
____:smile (39)::smile (39)::smile (39):

غيمة 4
02-04-2012, 05:33 AM
http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/4222/14159515ue7.gif