Dr.future
08-10-2008, 07:10 PM
This is a collection of short stories compiled by Dr.future
to help those who want to learn English.
Enjoy reading my pen-friends
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!.
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor. Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
Why Is He Howling
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet. Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!.
Waste or Save?
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don't you know you are wasting time? Jack: Yes, Dad. But I've saved you a meal, haven' I?.
A Present
Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday? Mom: No, Honey, what? Kate: A nice teapot. Mom: But I've got a nice teapot. Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.
A Useful Way
Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water? Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad. Father: What's that got to do with it? Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.
Always Thirsty
"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me." "That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?" "No, but I am always thirsty!".
Let me take it down
An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ." "Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."
All the best
:smile (40): :smile (40):
to help those who want to learn English.
Enjoy reading my pen-friends
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!.
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor. Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
Why Is He Howling
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet. Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!.
Waste or Save?
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don't you know you are wasting time? Jack: Yes, Dad. But I've saved you a meal, haven' I?.
A Present
Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday? Mom: No, Honey, what? Kate: A nice teapot. Mom: But I've got a nice teapot. Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.
A Useful Way
Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water? Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad. Father: What's that got to do with it? Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.
Always Thirsty
"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me." "That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?" "No, but I am always thirsty!".
Let me take it down
An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ." "Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."
All the best
:smile (40): :smile (40):