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مشاهدة النسخة كاملة : I was disappeared



prettyالسبهه
27-09-2010, 06:38 AM
I was sitting on my old yellow sofa
When my mother passed beside me
And said her kind routine phrase
Sleep early your face became pale" "
I looked around , there was no change.
Today like yesterday. Oh, I am boring
I wanted an adventure take me to learn something
But how? I was screaming inside
How
Suddenly I couldn't see myself
But I can breathing ,moving and talking
I stood front of mirror
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I disappeared :smile (28):
But wait that what I need to go anywhere
I rushed to the street it was quilt , dark and empty
I was scare it was a first time walking alone in a midnight
Lonely without Abayah
I saw our neighbor's door open
I went inside passing by
The back yard and I stooped in the salon
What I am going to do ?? I have to go back
Ooooh this house is empty where are they?
May something happened to them or may I am just Curious
I looked for them
I found their mother Om faisal but what is wrong
With her, she looked tired , sad , lonely
And she was talking to herself "I have to call them , they should live with me
No ,I have to live with my sister ,oh no she have her husband
Oh yah I found it my daughter she must to leave her job but she needs to work
what can I do the loneliness kill me " then I could see her tears
I thought she was happy . I went to my home
And when I was running to my bed from the bad thoughts inside me
I crashed my mother . she smiled to me
Why you did not sleep right now??
Cause I am happy to be together
But wait I was back to my normality
I wrote it and I wait your comments

ACME
27-09-2010, 03:46 PM
You have a vivid imagination . The setting and the way the story develops is amazing
You ended the story in a wonderful moral lesson . I enjoyed reading it .Keep on writing .

This sentence needs to be corrected


But I can breathing ,moving and talking
I stood front of mirror


To this
But I can breathe ,move and talk
I stood in front of the mirror

((بنت المدينه))
27-09-2010, 03:49 PM
Realy It's a good story
I like it

Thanx alot

prettyالسبهه
28-09-2010, 02:35 AM
You have a vivid imagination . The setting and the way the story develops is amazing
You ended the story in a wonderful moral lesson . I enjoyed reading it .Keep on writing .

sirhasan your comments bush me to go on
thanks for truth words
oh yah
I am lucky my mistakes became less than before

prettyالسبهه
28-09-2010, 02:37 AM
You have a vivid imagination . The setting and the way the story develops is amazing
You ended the story in a wonderful moral lesson . I enjoyed reading it .Keep on writing .

sirhasan your comments bush me to go on
thanks for truth words
oh yah
I am lucky my mistakes became less than before

prettyالسبهه
28-09-2010, 02:40 AM
Realy It's a good story
I like it

Thanx alot




بنت المدينة
thanks for nice and lovely comments

prettyالسبهه
28-09-2010, 02:41 AM
Realy It's a good story
I like it

Thanx alot




بنت المدينة
thanks for nice and lovely comments

Mr.Salem
29-09-2010, 02:58 PM
It’s absolutely obvious that you have put so much effort in writing such an awesome story. Starting with the very organized content, marked with so beautiful colors except for the yellow … 
I have one thing left to say … go Pretty Alsabha go ….

prettyالسبهه
29-09-2010, 11:10 PM
It’s absolutely obvious that you have put so much effort in writing such an awesome story. Starting with the very organized content, marked with so beautiful colors except for the yellow … 
I have one thing left to say … go Pretty Alsabha go ….


Alanaze
are you happy now? hahaha
thanks allot for ur nice comment
really your words lead me to proud of myself<<<ego
and thanks for passing by

Mr.Salem
30-09-2010, 12:24 AM
:smile (30): OK As soon as I get to be a supervisor in this clup. I will take of the yellow color of the list :small (42): Prety Alsabha

Thanks for the nice response

DIMPLES
30-09-2010, 02:14 AM
very nice story

thanx for sharing it with us

prettyالسبهه
30-09-2010, 02:31 AM
very nice story

thanx for sharing it with us




DIMPLES
thanks for nice comments and thanks for passing by

abu ghararah
30-09-2010, 01:17 PM
Creative writers are always greater than the causes that they represent
so
thanks tooo mutch

@ صعب المنال @
30-09-2010, 03:59 PM
amazing

thanks so much

:lost lady:
30-09-2010, 06:40 PM
What an imaginative writer,, Mash' Allah
I like your choice of words and how did you represent and end the story.
A great job dear sis
keep it up,,,waiting for more of your creativity

http://orkutluv.com/images/Thank%20You%20(86).gif

prettyالسبهه
01-10-2010, 03:17 AM
Creative writers are always greater than the causes that they represent


abugrarah
I missed ur comments
you gave me more confidence
thanks for commend me+
really I am happy to passing by
thanks allot

prettyالسبهه
01-10-2010, 03:19 AM
amazing
صعب المنال
welcome in our club
and thanks for passing by

prettyالسبهه
01-10-2010, 03:25 AM
What an imaginative writer,, Mash' Allah
I like your choice of words and how did you represent and end the story.
A great job dear sis
keep it up,,,waiting for more of your creativity


lost lady
your words are honer to me
thanks for lovely comment and for passing by

prettyالسبهه
01-10-2010, 03:25 AM
What an imaginative writer,, Mash' Allah
I like your choice of words and how did you represent and end the story.
A great job dear sis
keep it up,,,waiting for more of your creativity


lost lady
your words are honer to me
thanks for lovely comment and for passing by

member
01-10-2010, 06:14 AM
Wow u are writer

قلم الرصاص
01-10-2010, 11:43 AM
:smile (40)::smile (40)::smile (40):

Really I enjoyed reading it

ماشاء الله good writing

I wish you more creativity

Thank you so much

prettyالسبهه
01-10-2010, 07:48 PM
Wow u are writer

member
thanks so much for passing by
and nice comment

prettyالسبهه
01-10-2010, 07:50 PM
Really I enjoyed reading it

ماشاء الله good writing

I wish you more creativity

Thank you so much



قلم رصاص
I missed you
really I am grateful for passing by+