my first attempt to write a poem for my fience

[motyri]

heeeeeeeeeeey guys i tried to write this poem for my fience but i need u to read it and edit it for me before i give her the poem

please help me

baby ,when your memory comes to me
love will spread joy over me
i just want u to take me
to the bottom of your sea
i miss the way u whisper my name
...i will love u allways be
u have opened my heart with a special key
u have changed my feelings completly
baby u r a sweet mystery for me
i will spend all my life with you

[prettyالسبهه]

hi Motyri
I wanna be talk frankly so
ur meaning is so nice
and how thats so romantic
but
it does not seems as a poem
its like your minds thought
may be you can rewrite it in a better way
and good luck

[Bright Future]

First of all you should stop using chat abbrivations and always capital I's. Saying 'spread joy' is just a literal translation from Arabic but it doesn't make sense in English. Also, I don't know what does be mean when you say 'I'll always love you be'? Do you mean I love you, and always will be
السيهةAnyway, your fiance must be happy for such a poem and I don't agree with pretty
a poem doesn't neccessarily has rhythm or measures, I am sure this one can easily go as a free verse poem

[motyri]

thank u guys really u helped me alot

my sister the part u asked for i meant i will allways love u and allways will be

sorry i use abbervations alot im addicted to chat so u gotta excuse me

[إجتماعي]

Sorry I am ineligible to evaluate your poem
I only can say good luck

[motyri]

thank u social

[hot-meme=girl]

O bro u r a poet ?that's great

especially, it is ur first poem
just keep on an' work hard to be a great poet
that'll be sooooooooo fantastic




all my wishes





meme

[Miss-Thought]

please help me


Depends on what you mean. Your English isn't at all perfect :smile (91):, but I think you intend it not to be. u, for example, is not a word. Neither is r. Or for that matter, i

As for plain old errors, you misspelled "completely"l

was with you

Miss thought*

ta ta

local novelist and poet...:smile (91):l*