Plot Summary
Act 1
The play opens in the chamber of Valentine, a young libertine who is lounging and attempting to avoid his creditors who besiege him with requests for the money he owes them. Valentine and Jeremy, Valentine’s servant, banter briefly about the value of reading philosophy, introducing by the vocabulary they use the theme of economics and exchange that will recur throughout the play. Jeremy complains that the life of the wit and idler has ruined Valentine, but Valentine suggests that he might use his verbal talents in order to write. Scandal, Valentine’s best friend, enters and tells him ironically that using his talents and wit would have him end up more penniless than he is already.
As the scene in Valentine’s chambers continues, Jeremy is called to the door by a series of knocks. When he returns, he informs Valentine that he has turned away creditors, including the nurse of one of Valentine’s illegitimate children. One of the creditors, however, enters. Trapland is a scrivener (a professional writer or scribe) to whom Valentine owes 1,500 pounds, and he is quite eager to be paid. Valentine attempts to distract him by drinking with him. When he insists on pursuing the debt, Scandal threatens him for insulting Valentine’s hospitality. When Trapland leaves, Valentine informs Scandal that he has a solution for his debts: his father has promised him money immediately if he will sign over all of his future inheritance to his brother, Benjamin, a sailor.
Valentine’s acquaintance Tattle arrives, and Scandal and Valentine make fun of his luck with women, eventually lying to him that they know he has had some experience with Mrs. Frail, who is about to arrive. Tattle, to their surprise, admits this, then insists on being sneaked out of the chamber before Mrs. Frail arrives. Scandal agrees, but only on the condition that Tattle tell him the names of six other women with whom he has been involved. When Mrs. Frail arrives, she informs the men that Valentine’s brother Benjamin has arrived and that Miss Prue, her niece and Foresight’s daughter, is coming up from the country, for she has been promised to Ben. The act ends with Scandal escorting Mrs. Frail while shopping. He promises to tell Angelica, Valentine’s love interest, that Valentine is considering giving up his inheritance for her sake.
Act 2
The second act opens in Foresight’s house, where Foresight (Angelica’s uncle) asks his servant where the women of the house might be. Angelica arrives in the room, asking to borrow Foresight’s coach, and Foresight tells his servant to inform Sir Sampson (Valentine’s father) that he will soon call on him. Irritated at Angelica’s desire to ride around town in the carriage, he tells her that her habit of “gadding about” will result in a bad reputation. She responds by intimating that he is practicing witchcraft with the nurse. Angered, he tells her that, although he cannot take her money away, he will ensure that Valentine, her beloved, will be made a pauper. She continues to make fun of him and he responds with his astrological predictions, eventually talking himself into a corner before Angelica leaves.
Sir Sampson enters holding the “deed of conveyance” (the papers that would take away Valentine’s inheritance) in his hand. Sir Sampson and Foresight argue briefly, Foresight maintaining the validity of astronomy and Sir Sampson boasting about his travels around the world. Jeremy enters the room, followed by Valentine. Valentine informs Sir Sampson that he has received the 4,000 pounds but that it is barely enough to pay his debts and asks for more. This infuriates Sir Sampson, who roars that he hopes to see his son hanged. Valentine argues that it was his upbringing that caused him to be prodigal, and for that reason Sir Sampson should support him.
All four men exit just as Mrs. Foresight and Mrs. Frail enter. The two discuss how promiscuous Mrs. Frail appears to society. Mrs. Frail allows that she would like to break up the impending marriage between Benjamin and Miss Prue in order to marry Benjamin herself (she has heard of his imminent fortune). When Tattle and Miss Prue enter, the sisters attempt to get the two to flirt, which they proceed to do. Tattle is chasing Miss Prue to her bedchamber when the act ends.
Act 3
When the third act opens, a nurse is banging on Miss Prue’s door, trying to get her to come out. Miss Prue is on the other side of the door with Tattle, who is disgusted that he might have to lie about something he never did. He quickly leaves just as Valentine, Angelica, and Scandal come on stage. Angelica is acting indifferently to Valentine. Tattle enters, and Angelica begins teasing him about his success with women. Sir Sampson, Mrs. Frail, Miss Prue, and a servant enter, announcing that Ben has arrived; in an aside, Miss Prue tells Mrs. Frail that she is not interested in him. Hearing that Benjamin is about to arrive, Valentine leaves with Scandal, who has a plan for him.
Ben enters with a servant and greets his father and all present. Sir Sampson tells Ben that he will be getting married, but he shows little enthusiasm for anything but sea life. All exit except Ben and Miss Prue; he tries to be polite to her, accepting their arranged marriage, but she is not interested in him. When she continues to be rude to him, he curses her. Mrs. Frail and Mrs. Foresight enter to take advantage of the quarrel. Mrs. Foresight escorts a weeping Miss Prue to the parlor and Mrs. Frail takes Ben to her bedchamber, ostensibly so that Sir Sampson and Foresight will not know that the betrothed do not get along.
The two men enter, wondering about the absence of Miss Prue and Ben, when Scandal enters to tell them that Valentine appears to have gone mad. Scandal makes fun of Foresight for his belief in astrology until Mrs. Foresight enters, urging Foresight to come to bed. Scandal whispers to Mrs. Foresight that he has great passion for her; she acts offended but immediately starts telling Foresight that he looks terrible and should take to bed. As he leaves, Mrs. Foresight and Scandal discuss whether a woman can be virtuous. Scandal says that, while it is possible, it is not particularly worth the trouble. As they talk, Mrs. Frail and Ben enter. He sings her a song before they all go off to bed.
Act 4
Scandal and Jeremy are in Valentine’s chambers, making sure he is ready to appear mad before his father. Angelica and her servant enter, and Jeremy tells them that Valentine has gone mad, but Angelica senses that this is a trick. She pretends to be extremely concerned before exiting. Sir Sampson enters with Buckram, a lawyer, preparing to have Valentine acknowledge the deed of conveyance he has signed. As Jeremy tells Sir Sampson that Valentine is out of his wits, Buckram informs him that this unfortunate circumstance invalidates the deed. They enter Valentine’s room and Valentine pretends to be insane until Buckram leaves. Valentine teases his distraught father, then leaves with Jeremy.
Foresight, Mrs. Foresight, and Mrs. Frail enter, and Scandal and Sir Sampson inform them that Valentine is out of his wits and, consequently, that the deed of conveyance is no longer in effect. Scandal banters with Mrs. Foresight about their encounter of the previous night before he and the Foresights leave. Ben enters, and in his conversation with Mrs. Frail she concludes that he is a fool, utterly devoid of sophistication. As Ben leaves, Mrs. Foresight enters, saying that Foresight has now rejected her and she is setting her sights on Sir Sampson. For her part, she tells Mrs. Frail that she has made a deal with Jeremy: they will bring Mrs. Frail to Valentine in disguise and tell him that Mrs. Frail is Angelica, ensuring a marriage between the two.
Valentine, Scandal, Foresight, and Jeremy enter, Valentine raving insanely. Mrs. Frail pretends to be Angelica. Then Angelica herself enters, followed by Tattle. Jeremy continues pretending to advance the plan of marrying Mrs. Frail to Valentine, but Valentine asks him to encourage everyone to leave so that he can tell Angelica of the plan. The room now empty, Valentine tells Angelica of his design; but Angelica pretends to think he is still mad.
Act 5
Act 5 opens at Foresight’s house. Angelica is talking to her maid when Sir Sampson enters. The two flirt, and Angelica makes him believe that she is interested in marrying him. Tattle and Jeremy enter; Jeremy suggests that he would like to go to work for Tattle now that Valentine is insane. Miss Prue comes in and attaches herself to Tattle, who attempts to get rid of her. Foresight enters and attempts to interest Tattle in marrying Miss Prue, but Tattle resists. When Tattle leaves, Miss Prue resolves to marry Robin, the butler; Foresight has her locked in her room. Ben enters and informs the company that Angelica and Sir Sampson are to be married. Sir Sampson and Angelica enter with their lawyer, Buckram. When Ben is not sufficiently supportive of his marriage, Sir Sampson curses him.
Tattle and Mrs. Frail enter suddenly, bemoaning that Jeremy has tricked them and that they have unwittingly married each other. Valentine enters, learns of his father’s impending marriage to Angelica, and comes clean, telling Sir Sampson that his insanity was nothing but a sham. Sir Sampson still wants his son to sign the deed of conveyance. Valentine refuses to do it until Angelica certifies that she does, indeed, want to marry Sir Sampson; when she does, he agrees to sign his inheritance over for the sake of her greater happiness. When he does so, she immediately tells him that she was pretending, and that now that he has proven his true love for her she wants to marry him. She upbraids Sir Sampson for being a terrible father and ends the play by speaking to men’s unfair criticisms of women as inconstant and unreliable
.