Finding Your Strength in Difficult Times
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Everyone is looking for happiness. But happiness is not a goal. It is a result of doing what you like and relating honestly to other people
Happiness is about being your own person, making your own decisions, doing what you want because you want to do it, and living your own life to please yourself. It's about being independent, allowing others to be free, and seeking the best in yourself and in the world
It's so easy to do the opposite _ to cling to others expecting to be taken care of, to control people and blame them when things go wrong, to be in sincere and play at relationships and careers rather than commit, to tease rather than respond, and to live on the fringe of others lives rather than in the middle of your own
When you do not live your own life as your own person, you live an unhappy life indeed. You have the sense that your life is going no where, that life has little meaning, and the meaning it does have loses it substance when you examine it closely
Your life is supposed to be for yourself
Your life is given to you to create its meaning. You have no one to blame if your life does not turn out the way you wanted it to be. No one owes you anything. You are the only person who can make a lasting difference. A little boost of support here or there means nothing unless you have committed to go all the way yourself, no matter what happens
No promises that anyone ever made to you have the power to make a lasting difference
No betrayal or abandonment has the power to limit your growth or blunt your success unless you need an excuse for failing that badly
Putting it bluntly, you have the ability to get over just about everything. And if you intend to be happy during this life you are going to have to get over a lot all the time
The first thing you have to get over is the belief that someone is coming in your life to make all the difference
Don't count on anyone coming to rescue you, give you the big break, defeat your enemies, stand up for you, recognize your worth, and open doors
Either you are the savior in your own life or your life without redemption
You deserve to be happy, but you also deserve everything that you accept. So look at
your unhappiness. It is a record of your failure to be your own person
Your unhappiness is really nothing more than a reminder that you have some work to do to be happy again
Because being happy is liking the way you feel; if you are unhappy it means that you don't like the way you feel
You are the person who is supposed to do something about that
Being happy requires that you take subtle but important risks all the time
You need to assert yourself. Avoid manipulation, pointless arguments, and confrontations
You need to tell the truth and correct your lies
You need to stop playing the victim so you can enjoy your success with out feeling guilty
To find happiness you need to be your own person, not a pretender
You need to let go of your expectations of what you think life should be like so that you don't unrealistically judge others and find them lacking and ungiving
You need to give up living in the past
You need to learn to forgive and to let go in order to move on
You need to learn to listen in order to bring out the best in others
You need to take yourself seriously, but not so seriously that you have to be perfect all the time or can not admit your errors or weaknesses
You need to understand that you are always growing. So you must continually be aware of the compromises that inhibit your growth and the relationships where you feel you give away too much
You need a purpose in life
You need to work at the purpose and create the life you want, not live in empty hope of deliverance
Being happy takes work, the work of life. Since you are going to live your own life, you might as well live it as your best
Each of my later topics that will follow this one will addresses one particular issue on the road to becoming your own person and finding happiness. It is all straightforward advice and has common sense and directness to recommend it. Most of it you already know. It is presented in this fashion to inspire you to accept yourself so that you can find and give your gift
This is a concentrated topic of knowledge, and many important meanings may slip by you on first reading. Whether you read one paragraph a day or read this entire topic in one sitting, each paragraph deserves reading
You will discover that the way you see the individual sections will change as you grow or when your situation changes
Sometimes it takes a crisis to open you up to a new understanding or allow you to incorporate this advice into your life. Going back over a section in a time of difficulty will open you up to new ideas that you may have missed before
I urge you to take all of this to heart. I have assembled it form a life-time of working with people. I have written it so that it cuts through to the center of each issue and speaks directly to your heart
Being happy is understanding and accepting yourself as you are right now.
That is the only true freedom
This, the only time to achieve it
You, the only person who can do it
