Funny Stories..Enjoy reading them

**اسيــ حبه ــرة** · 21-08-2005, 11:22 AM

Hello brothers and sisters

Here are some lovely and short stories I brought

them to you ... Have a nice time
------- First -------
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside an operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out, and I’m a little nervous.”

The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up, they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.”

The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”

“A circumcision,” the first kid answers.

“Whoa!” the second kid says. “Good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born. I couldn’t walk for a year.”
------------------------------------
_______ second ________
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
----------------------------
_______ Third _______
A man arrives home from work at the usual time of 5 p.m. His wife immediately begins yelling at him for no reason.

After two hours of her complaining, he turns to her and says, “Honey, why don’t I go outside, pretend I just came home, and we can start over again.”

“Fine,” she agrees. “That might help.”

The husband goes outside, then comes back in and announces, “Honey, I’m home!”

“Where the hell have you been?” she yells back. “It’s after seven!”
------------------------------

That's all
I'll bring more next time

**ابوعلي** · 21-08-2005, 12:02 PM

I like them all

especially the third one

thanks أسيـ حبه ـرة for making me laugh

and thanks for your great efforts

**زهرة وفى** · 21-08-2005, 05:43 PM

thanks my little sister

i like this kind of story

**Instigator** · 22-08-2005, 03:06 AM

hahahahahahahahahaha

.That was so funny
.I really liked these funny jokes so much

,Dear sister
thanks a lot for making me laugh
.and making my day

.Keep it up

**اسيــ حبه ــرة** · 22-08-2005, 04:07 AM

,Dear Abo Ali

Nice to see you here

I just have the honor to see you here

**اسيــ حبه ــرة** · 22-08-2005, 04:09 AM

,Dear Zahrat Wafa

And

for passing by

**اسيــ حبه ــرة** · 22-08-2005, 04:12 AM

,Dear Instigator

I love to be here in this section

and finally I've got some topics

I'm really glad to participate with you

**اسيــ حبه ــرة** · 22-08-2005, 05:08 AM

___________ First _____________
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to one of those big "everything under one roof" stores looking for a job.

The manager asked, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid said, "Sure, I was a salesman back home in Texas."

The boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to see how things went.

"How many sales did you make today?"

The young man replied without hesitating, "One."

The boss said, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid said, "$101,237.64."

The boss said, "$101,237.64?! What the hell did you sell?!"

the kid said, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Blazer."

Amazed, the boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a truck?"

"No, he came here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, 'Well, your weekend’s shot, you might as well go fishing.'"

___________ Second _____________

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t appear to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other hunter whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

He screeches to the operator, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says, “Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he’s dead.”

There is a silence, followed by a deafening gunshot blast.

“Ok,” the hunter says. “Now what?”
_________________________________

I hope you like them all