My first poem

[smack]

smile (87):

My love
My love how many times I want to said to you without any shyness because the life without you don’t equal any things
You the sun in the daytime and the moon if the sun erase on my night
And how much time I hope to see you in my dreams and the marvelous things to be my queen in my dreams
Continuous days and years without meet you but you my heart that beating in your air I hope if I see you for seconds because your see you its a big dreams that never implement just in the drams.



I wrote this poem and I have many mistakes
Plz correct to me
And tell me your comments for my first poem
hahahahaahahahahahahah

[● Ṡeяεиiτч . . ☆]

you did express your feelings
in a beautiful way but using long sentences have weaken the rhythm
Use short sentence and try to write your feelings as if you are narrating a story


Iwill wait eagerly for your next poem

[smack]

Thanks a lot for you my sister
And I will work in your opinion next time.

[postgraduate]

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You have a great sensation .Thanks dear .Wish you a good luck

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you are welcome and thanks a lot for you

[إجتماعي]

Actually I have no experience but its seem good as first attempt
Thanks for sharing

[smack]

you are welcome my best friend

[Miss-Thought]

Wow how nice! I loved it. I think you're really good! it is so romantic and your voice (^_^) keep writing poetry, you're a poet

thanks for sharing, WAITING for more

[smack]

Miss thought
Really thanks for you
You encourage me to put more
May Allah protect and bless you my sister